Beware the Ducks

Eugh, so Flat Inspection was today and so I spent the morning at the Esplanade, swinging and jumping on the trampoline and taking pictures.

Also talking to myself, singing along to the iPod rather loudly, being paranoid about the ducks and being terrified of the Barrel of Doom.

I will not leave you all hanging and instead will give a blow by blow account of my morning.

First you should be aware that I haven't slept, I know this is a shocking and deeply surprising occurrence that is incredibly rare, as such I brought a can of Kaboom on my way.

As most of you will be now be aware when sleep deprived on caffeine I tend toward insanity and that was certainly true today.

I was by myself and yet managed to have several deep and meaningful conversations, I also referred to myself in plural several times, I think the only thing we should all be glad about is the fact that I was obviously quietly talking to myself or else there would be several mentally scarred children.

Me and Myself enjoyed an invigorating walk taking several pictures of the many things that fascinated us (there I go using plural for my single self) there were trees and leaves and flowers and BUNNIES! 

Of course the stupid fancy new phone decided that it's battery was going to die despite the fact that I needed the phone to be working so I could receive B-Dizzles message for when it was safe to come home and unfortunately none of us are well versed in smoke signals so that wasn't an option. 

Cursing my phone I went to the playground part of the Esplanade and proceeded to swing away my problems. Things I learnt are 1) you can't sing and swing if you want to be able to breath properly, 2) always choose the right swing my sit testing first, 3) Swing meditation is the best, just swing and be, everything else just sort of fades out. After a while I got tired of swinging not mentally but physically swinging is hard work so I went and jumped on the trampoline for a bit, then I lied down on the trampoline to cloud watch but there were no clouds so I went back to the swing. 

I was a bored of the swing by then so I thought I'd have a try in what have since been dubbed the Barrel of Doom, I'd seen little kids play in them before and I figured you know... how hard can it be? A stupid question. Very, is the answer. So for those who don't know the Barrel of Doom is like the prelude to a treadmill, you walk and the barrel rolls. What you may not know is that as you walk it gets faster. And you fall over. And it keeps going leading to you going up and sliding down and laughing like an idiot while simultaneously swearing at the pain in your butt and your wrist where you fell. Now a normal person would think ok I've been defeated by the Barrel of Doom I'm gonna stop. I didn't. I tried again. It went slightly better though I was was very discombobulated afterwards.

Then I decided to walk around a little more and have a look in the gardens. On my way there I came across a gathering of the Duck Army. Now many people say that I have a very irrational paranoia in regards to ducks, you know what I say to that? It's not paranoia if they really are plotting to overthrow the human regime and begin what I have coined as 'The Duckpocalypse'. Behind enemy lines, surrounded by their hellish armies, I made what may have been my last message warning mankind (and Pillow who mocks my perfectly rational suspicion) of the amassing duck army. They were every where, watching, plotting, quacking.

Thankfully I escaped with my life and proceeded to look at various pretty flowers. I took pictures of some and then my phone gave up the ghost and passed on. Once more cursing the stupid thing as I still had not received the all clear from B-Dizzle I proceeded onwards in my wandering, eventually I found myself in the rose garden, wishing I had a camera because of all the pretty colours and the images I could have captured.

Eventually I headed for home, where B-Dizzle assured me that the Inspection had happened and was over. 

Wasn't that exciting?

I like the Esplanade. I like sleep more. But not philosophy. Colours are pretty. My phones camera not so much.

Meh.

Currently Listening to: Kelly Clarkson- Dark side

Current .gif feeling:

I have a lot of deep Philosophical questions, most predominant currently is Where did the Chocolate go? I'm sure I never ate it.

What am I doing with my life? No seriously? I've spent the past couple of days reading Gundam Wing fanfic and sitting on my sweet patootie. I mean I've had a good reason... it's been raining so even though we have a Flat Inspection coming up I couldn't go outside and do the jobs that need doing... or at least that's what I've been telling myself, in truth my sleep took a turn for the worst and I haven't been awake enough in the daytime to be able to do things. My Counsellor mentioned a hormone or something that's suppose to aid with sleep so 
I'm going to see about that but I dunno. 

What else is up with me... I've been pretty unmotivated as per usual, though I did weed the back gardens and clean the bathroom, my room and organise the book shelf we moved into the hallway so that's something. Yesterday was Imbolc and I slept through most of it. It's the first day of spring in the Northern Hemisphere so thats a fun little fact for people.

I should probably update all the (non existent) people who are interested, I failed in regards to NaNoWriMo, all the good intentions none of the motivation though I did compile a very interesting Bleach fanfic in my head. I dunno how I'm going to write my novel out when I'm so shit at fight scenes I mean I can see it all in my head and it's truly beautiful but then I write it down and it's all "she flipped over his head and like turned around in the flip so she was facing him and it happened really fast so he couldn't tell..." which isn't great for keeping the attention.

I have a complaint. I have a tumblr, I very rarely use it because it's filled with people that seem to revel in being angry about something, show them something that pleases you and they will pick it apart until it's all just shit. I'm pretty sure it's filled with English teachers, you know like "oh the author meant this and this symbolises this" the author didn't mean any of that you're just seeing that because that's what you want to see, now don't get me wrong I was doing a major in English I love it, I love looking at a poem and being like "ah hah hah hah feel all the meanings that I have discovered" but thats poetry which is filled with hidden meanings Poetry is to English what a Tomb is to Lara Croft or Indiana Jones, it's filled with traps and treasures and hidden parts that need to be uncovered and it tells you a ton if you know where to look. 
Novels, however, are something that aren't suppose to be picked apart, I mean yeah they can be and yeah there often is a lot of hidden meaning but most authors writing a novel are more interested (speaking for myself as an aspiring Novelist) in telling the story and having people be like "ohh this happened and this guy sucks". 
Back to my point Tumblr likes to tear things apart to find a point that isn't there or to blow shit way out of proportion, and I get that there's a lot of inequality and shit human beings in the world but being an unequal shit human isn't going to make it better, even if you're doing it from the opposing side. If you want equality you can just automatically discard people who oppose you or are from a different standing that's exactly how the inequality started. It's not an issue of who's better it's an issue of being equals. 
If someone makes a statement about how say feminism makes them uncomfortable you don't go around saying that they're a male pig or something or that they've been programmed by men to think things like that, you look at what you're doing and wonder why is feminism making this person uncomfortable, because trust me it doesn't make me uncomfortable because I'm a dude I'm pretty freaking sure that I have to strap a bra on everyday and that my period comes regularly, no feminism makes me uncomfortable because a lot of feminists aren't about having men and women standing on equal ground, they're about having women standing on top of men to pay them back in some way for the repression they feel that women have had to deal with. I'll just say now two wrongs don't make a right, two wrongs leads to you heading backwards, going in the exact opposite direction to the one you say you want to be heading in. What we need is understanding, what we need is for people to stop being so shit to each other to stop looking at one another and thinking he's/she's black/white/Korean/Jamaican/gay/straight/Whatever and instead to look at each other and be like they're human and as such they deserve the exact same rights as me. 

Anyway I've ranted enough.

Currently Listening to: Best Mashup Mix 2014 Vol. 1
Current .gif feeling: