Argh! Why must everything be so difficult!? Why?
I'm suppose to walk to at least my mail box everyday. Failed
Suppose to have gone to the Doctor now that I've finally changed Medical Centres. Failed.
I was suppose to destress this year. That's definitely failed.
I'm suppose to pay Pillow back, suppose to save my money, suppose to buy all these things! Argh I hate money! It makes everything difficult.
And then there's my computer, it won't play Sims anymore, it doesn't read cds anymore, it can't be unplugged, it doesn't pick up that it has a battery, the charger cord is starting to wear, it can't handle any advanced software, any game I try and play just dies.
I meant to call my Mum on Thursday... that failed, so I said I'd call her on Saturday... Failed. I'm just terrible and keeping contact with people.
I couldn't sleep in my bed last night so I slept on the couch, to clarify there was nothing wrong with my bed I just couldn't sleep there, no particular reason, I just couldn't.
Then there's the amount of sugar I consume in a week, I bought four blocks of chocolate on Thursday. There's not even a quarter of the last block left. Not even a quarter!
I'm feeling blah lately, I dunno what's wrong. I can't write, I get bored, my computer can't handle doing anything strenuous oh Batman my computer's an elderly person.
I feel out of step with my flatmates. They both have exams and I don't so I forget that they have to study and do things. I'd feel better if I had something to do, really just something that would distract me without requiring me to leave my house and interact with people. I really don't do well when interacting with people.
Anyway enough with my complaints.
Here's what I've been up to.
I watched a new anime called Tokyo ESP it was quite good, the style was interesting and the storyline was cool. I've watched all but the latest episode of Sword Art Online 2, the fangirling, oh the fangirling.
Pillow got me started playing a new online game with her called Path of Exile which she says was designed by New Zealanders, so that's cool, that is also where the complaining about the computer comes in though. My character is a Duelist, he uses two swords (for the most part sometimes I equip him with an axe or a cleaver instead) and be slashes at stuff which helps for venting pent up aggression.
I've read fanfic.
I've slept, failed in sleeping, napped, become sleep deprived and all the joy that comes along with my ever delightful sleeping issue.
Oh that adds another thing I've failed at: Go to bed every night at 10. Failed.
Ooh when we first moved in: Walk around the block to keep healthy everyday. Failed.
Ah well.
What else, well I heard from my Dad which is what sparked my need to call me mother.
I painted my nails, did my washing, cleaned my room.
I've eaten almost all of a packet of those toppa lasagnes, there are quite a few in there and I have single handedly demolished them.
Oh and we had Breakfast Day.
I want to set up my Quote Wall, and to paint, so that's something to think about.
Currently Listening To: Cobra Starship ft Icona Pop- Never Been In Love
Current .gif feeling:
Right so lately I've been thinking about my story a lot more and now I want to have a look, for myself basically, at the different races that inhabit Chimera.
There are first and foremost the mortals (or humans) they're the inhabitants created by the Goddess formed of Magic, Flesh and the Lady's blood. They come in many different shapes and forms, their natural abilities differing due to the ways Chimera has changed the magic in their blood. Many humans mated with the children of the Elder Gods as well so certain family lines tend toward certain gifts.
The children of the Elder Gods mostly bred with the mortals but there are also Elves who are the descendants of Air and Earth.
Then there are the Pyres, cursed descendants of Fire and Water, who cannot stand the light of the sun and die when exposed to salt water or fire.
BeastKyn are another race, vaguely related to Elves they have a very strong connection to animals and tend to be loners.
Within the mortals there are also subsets.
-There are the Nomadic Amazons, tribes of women who travel far and wide hunting and fighting, they believe men to be unnecessary and so only ever interact with them for the purpose of breeding. If they bear sons they will nurse them until fice then return them either to their fathers or to other Amazon sons to be raised, many times the son of an Amazon will be used to father another Amazon in the hopes of maintaining strong bloodlines and returning strength to the tribe. Amazons don't put a lot of thought into healing or care they are a very war focussed people who believe if a warrior is struck down in battle and they don't heal then it's their time. They're quite hardy and brash people. Different tribes have different strengths and often they'll make an alliance sharing the names of sons for the purpose of integrating different skills into the tribes bloodlines.
- There are the Guardians, who devote themselves to the Lady and are often changed due to this connection, among these are the Moon Priestess' who guard the Oracle, a special Guardian granted to ability to see certain future paths and share prophecies. The Guardian Lines often take in orphans the power they wield is passed down families and they often guard cracks in the World Lines which is the reason for their names.
- There are the Desert Dwellers, who live in tents and migrate from one oasis to another throughout the year, they are a peaceful people who are renowned for their ability to tame animals and to find water, many of them are the descendants of mortal/ Fire and Water children pairings and as such have uncanny skill in finding water and surviving the harsh environment of the desert. The Desert Dwellers tend to travel in family groups when they meet up with other family groups alliances and marriages are arranged. Certain families have closer ties to certain parts of the Desert and are thus the aristocracy of those areas.
Right I'll get into the rest at a later date. Too Lazy.
Currently Listening to: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis- Jimmy Iovine
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Write, writing, written.
Alright, me, what am I doing? I'm writing. writing. Yep. Words. Combinations of different letters forming a comprehendible language. A form of communication. Feel my writing!
I've been thinking, lately.
We had a flat inspection today, and so I had to embrace my ability to leave the house... I survived. Had french toast with bacon and grilled banana as my reward. It still discomforts me though. But it was better than being here when there were people I don't know, heck I have difficulty being here when there are people I do know. However, that's something my counsellor and I've talked about and I just have to keep remembering that I can remove myself from the situation, that is within my power and I'm not being rude, I just get a little overwhelmed.
So removal of self. Sweet.
I really need to get my glasses checked out, damn it.
Still strangely addicted to Bejeweled on Facebook.
I just feel all out of sorts, I dunno. I've been talking with my flatmates and I'm going to try to set up a proof-reading thingy so people can email me essays and assignments and I'll proof-read them for a small fee, it fixes two of my problems, doing something so I don't get bored (I constantly am, so bored) and earning money through work that'll demonstrate to the Government that I'm not sitting on my ass doing nothing.
Oh gah! I still have to talk to a Dr and change my medical center. I feel really bad, because my flatmates are busy with assignments and here I sit doing nothing as per usual. Geez.
Right enough complaining.
Currently Listening To: Ed Sheeran- Thinking out Loud
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I've been spending a lot of time thinking about my story, my opus. I've basically been mentally writing it since I was nine, I didn't actually start with the characters I have now it actually started as the story about the parents of my current characters, over time it's matured and evolved into the story that now dances through my head at all hours. When I first imagined it, in the first form of what it would become, I had been reading a lot of sappy stories and as teenage girls are prone to I focussed on the romance I wanted to be in it, all the things I wrote out revolved around this romance, however, I think even then my subconscious knew what it was about because in the middle of these horrid sappy moments I would have my character exchanging snark and witticisms with her brother. In it's current form she's not with the character I initially imagined her with but rather with one who I feel better about, it's not a Romeo and Juliet-esq tragic love story, it's two people who have grown up who have experienced the worst the world has to throw at them and somehow still manage to go forward, they don't need each other to exist but they make each other happy, and even if they didn't have to relationship they do they'd still be friends, still be family; their's is a relationship that built slowly it's based on trust and on a strong sense of family, and most importantly it's not the focus of the story, it's something that happens in the background, the story doesn't revolve around it. You could remove all elements of romance and the story itself would still go on. Which I feel is proof of how far I've come as a writer.
The focus of the story is the lives of my two main characters. There's cliches and tropes but I can't imagine it any other way. I know people probably get bored of the books that focus on those special characters who are unique, they want to read about everyday people, well sorry but this is Fantasy genre and it's a story about a Prince and Princess, so ngeh!
Heh, anyway the story follows Cat and Ty. The Prince and Princess of a world called Chimera (Chimera meaning 'daydream' rather than a mythical monster) They are the only children of the Queen, and her husband, the sociopolitical structure of their world is very different from our own. It has more to do with land-ties. I'll give you a little background.
It began with the Elder Gods. The first was The Lord of Time, he was followed by his siblings Magic, Earth, Water, Air and Fire. As happens in most mythologies the Gods fell in love, Earth with Air, Fire with Water, Magic knowing their difficulties and out of love of her siblings created a world where all elements were equal, this world welcomed the offspring of the Elder unions and was populated not only with their children but with souls and races created by Magic, she also created a soul for the world, and created a daughter of her own flesh and magic after seeing how her siblings loved their own offspring. As time passed the magic that bound the world together began to falter, the descendants of her daughter being the only thing keeping the world together, by that time no god could walk the worlds in their Godly form, as she was the Goddess of that world she had kept charge of the souls creating them, reincarnating them and rewarding them. Seeing what was happening and realising that her magic was required to rebind the world she incarnated herself as one of her daughters descendants, leaving her most trusted advisors with her charge. Once incarnated she vaguely remembered her Godly self and she walked the lines of the world threading her magic and rebinding the world, accompanying her were a Clan of Warriors, the peoples of her world were extremely sensitive the magics of the world and so had felt it beginning to falter and die, when they realised that the girl was rejuvenating and saving their world and them it was decided that she and all her descendants would be rewarded so that they could keep the world together and strong, it was believed that being viewed in this way would solidify the ties she had and so make it more difficult for the world to die. The girl was the first Queen, and the first of the Royal family, bound by Magical Oath and by inheritance to Chimera, she also cast her blessing (as the Goddess) on the Warrior Clan that had protected her, so that there would be enough of her magic dwelling on the world. Every few generations the Goddess would once more incarnated herself as one of her own descendants strengthening the magic that dwelt in the veins of the Royal Family, over time the Royal Family became to governing body of Chimera, as the descendants of the Goddess they were highly respected and as they stood before their people in cases of danger they were highly regarded. Much of the magic that ran through the Royal Family tended to mean that the priority of the members went: Chimera, My Family, Me. It was very common for a member of the Royal family to put themselves in the way of danger to protect the people of their world, this tended to irritate the Warrior Clan who protected them as their priorities were more along the lines of: Royal Family, Chimera, My Family, Me.
Under the Royal Family there were Lords/ Ladies who had strong magic and close ties to their lands, and under them were a collection of Lesser Lords.
Anyway, Cat and Ty are the only children of Queen Niomee of Rosae the Royal Family and her husband Christopher of the Clan Rose, the last child of the Rose Clan who had protected the Royal Family since the beginning. Queen Niomee is the elder child and daughter of the latest incarnation of the Goddess, she also had a younger brother. Queen Niomee was crowned at nineteen after her parents passed away, her brother was eighteen only a year younger than her, she married Christopher at twenty one, had her children at twenty-five and was murdered at twenty-eight. She was regarded as one of the most beloved Queens because of many of the reforms and alliances she made in her tenure.
The man who killed her was a tyrannous Necromancer who had been imprisoned by one of her great-great-great grandmothers Catri, great-granddaughter of the Goddess incarnation.
The story starts, possibly, when Cat and Ty are three. Their parents were just murdered along with the Royal Guards and they are attempting to escape the Palace. They are captured by one of Melchior's minions and are subsequently imprisoned in Firthana, the Prison that had held Melchior, it was considered the worst Hell imaginable and Chimera had been created around it as the Goddess wanted assurances that it would be well guarded. There were creatures called Daemons which acted at Prison Guards and there were the inmates most of whom had been imprisoned by members of the Royal Family, enchantments were woven throughout so that prisoners couldn't die, however with Melchiors escape those began to slowly fade. Cat and Ty who at that time were called Ana and Teo, suffered rather horribly while in there and eventually escaped at eight. By then they had been greatly changed by what had happened to them and were near feral.
Anyway that's as much as I wanna write right now so. Ta ta.
Currently Listening To: Fall Out Boy- The Mighty Fall
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Sigh
Well here i am writing on this again. I am terrible at remembering, I don't really have much to write about, but I shall endeavour to make this interesting.
It's been almost 2 months since I last spoke to my Mother so I messaged my sister to tell her hi since she doesn't go on Facebook and my phone currently hates me.
Emailed my Dad.
I still have to call a medical centre.
I wrote some drabbles... bad news is I wrote them for the wrong fanfic... I'm a terrible person
I MISS MY SIMS!! Epic Pouty Face. Some days all I wanna to is sit down and build a house or a family or an apartment *sniff* but I can't!! It's terrible, life is so cruel, why?! WHY?!
Melodrama aside I've recently been revisiting my childhood, watching Scooby Doo and Sonic Underground... it's been pretty legit.
I fricken love Scooby Doo and Sonic takes me back to school mornings with my Mum yelling at me to hurry up (ah good times).
I watched all of the first season of Scooby Doo: Mystery Incorporated in a day... what can I say there was a mystery that ran through the whole thing and I wanted to know what the frickedy frack was going on.
I found out.
It was Groovy.
Just saying.
Also, I was right!
About what?
You shall never know, just know I was right.
Weathers been pretty chilly here with big wind and on and off rain and wow look at me just casually chatting about the weather, it's been cold and I'm not a creature fond of any temperature extremes though cold is better than hot, because at least you can warm up when you're cold, when you're hot it takes ages to cool down.
Anyway that's about it from me, but here have a poem. It's been stuck in my head for ages:
Invictus
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
Out of the night that covers me,
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
William Ernest Henley
Currently Listening To: MKTO- Classic
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